Not For the First Time
by Amythista
Summary: I was woken by a phonecall from the one girl in the world who called me whenever she felt like it, with no regard to what I might be doing at the time. It was the end of our junior year. Asahina Mikuru was graduating in a few months. -KyonHaruhi-


_My first story for one of my favorite fandoms. Please critique this piece, and please enjoy~_

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It was two o'clock AM, a time at which most normal people would be peacefully sleeping, myself included. However, the people I knew were decidedly not normal, and so for reasons unknown, I was suddenly jolted out of my peaceful slumber by the ringing of my cell phone.

I grumbled, still half-asleep. I tried to convince myself that I was still sleeping as I reached for my phone and flipped it open. "...hello?"

There was silence on the other end. I considered hanging up, but I then remembered the one person who would call me whenever she felt like it, with no regard to what I might be doing or what hour of the day (or night) it was. That person in particular wouldn't be happy if I were to hang up on her. "...Haruhi?"

I could've sworn that I heard sniffling. Startled, I sat up suddenly and immediately regretted it as all the blood rushed to my head. "Haruhi? Is that you?"

"Yes," came the response. Are you okay? I could be wrong, but you sound to me like you're trying not to cry.

"Today marks the beginning of the third trimester of our junior year," she said, completely ignoring what I had just said, as per usual. Well, at least I knew her meltdown hadn't reached breaking point just yet…

"Yeah, I know. What's the matter?"

She said nothing. Don't tell me I have to guess what's wrong.

Oh.

"...you're not upset about Miss Asahina graduating, are you?"

"No!" was the quick, defiant response. So that's what it is.

It was true, after all. Our lovely tea-making, time-traveling, maid mascot was graduating this year. Of course, it was quite obvious to the people who were aware of the SOS Brigade's supernatural members that Asahina would visit as often as she could, considering the wide array of horrible things that were sure to happen upon her departure. It also seemed a bit illogical to send in a replacement for Miss Asahina when she already appeared to be in the ideal position for observing Haruhi. Still, she had registered a year before us, regardless of her real age, so she'll be graduating this year whether she wanted to or not. In any case, no one had dared to broach the subject yet for fear of Haruhi's reaction, so we didn't know exactly what Miss Asahina's plans were, but Haruhi was obviously assuming the worst.

Getting back to the conversation at hand…

"She'll probably come back to visit once in a while."

"T-that's not the point!"

We were silent for a few minutes. I never know what to say in these sorts of conversations. I considered hanging up and claiming that my phone died later, but I quickly dismissed that as a dangerous idea. Haruhi seemed to sense what I was thinking.

"I need to clear my mind. Meet me by the train station in ten minutes." She then proceeded to hang up without even giving her usual promise of a penalty if I was to be late.

I was left with a dial tone ringing in my ear. I sighed and cast one last longing look towards my warm bed before getting up, resigned to my fate. I threw on some random clothes and tiptoed as quietly as I could out of the house, careful not to disturb my parents or my sister. I unlocked my bike and rode to the train station as quickly as possible.

Sure enough, there was Haruhi, waiting with her arms crossed as she stared at the ground with a melancholic expression. Even her yellow ribbons were in their usual place on her head. Does she sleep with those things?

"Yo." I greeted as casually as I could, considering the hour. She looked up, her expression not changing even after she registered that I was standing next to her.

"…hey." She finally responded, tone uncharacteristically quiet. We were silent for a few more minutes. Haruhi looked torn between hitting something or beginning to cry. I didn't particularly want either, so I spoke up.

"What's the matter? You've known this would happen eventually. Why are you getting so upset about it now?"

"I just didn't expect it to happen so soon…"

The broken, quiet tone of her usually overenergetic voice spooked me a bit. Sensing danger, I tried my best to calm her back down.

"Hey…I mean, she'll definitely come back to visit-"

"That's not it!" She shot up from her previously slumped position to glare at me, as though it were my fault that I couldn't understand her thought process. Either way, though, I could see tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. This was the first time I had ever seen Haruhi cry, so all reasonable thought was more or less washed out of my brain within moments.

"Next year is our final year in high school! Mikuru will have already gone off to college, and it'll just be the four of us…that's not even enough to fill the quota of people needed for a club…"

I could have pointed out here that the SOS Brigade had actually never been recognized as a club by the school in the first place, so I doubt it would matter either way, but like I said, all thought had been washed out of my brain when the first tears began to make their way down Haruhi's snow-white skin.

"And after next year…then what? Koizumi and Yuki will go off and do something amazing, I know they will, they're so smart, and Mikuru will, I don't know, marry some nice wealthy guy and become a housewife and be perfectly happy, and you…" here she took the first breath since she had begun her sentence, and looked up at me with…what? Disappointment? Regret? Wistfulness? "…you'll be _normal_, just like you always want to be, but what about me?...what about the Brigade?"

Tears trickled down her face. I suddenly had the impulse to tell her everything, about the aliens, time travelers, espers, and god knows what other supernatural beings were watching her because of her amazing power to change reality. I wanted to tell her that her club wasn't a waste of time at all. I wanted to say that there was no way any of those groups would leave her alone so easily.

I wanted to tell her how much the Brigade meant to me now. Silent Nagato, the lovely Asahina, annoying yet friendly Koizumi, all of them meant so much to me. And at the center of it all, Haruhi Suzumiya, our beautiful, insane, brave leader, the girl who now looked at me as tears silently coursed down her cheeks as she asked me silently for the only answers she didn't have.

I wanted to tell her that…that, dammit, I couldn't leave her either.

But I couldn't.

So what I said was this:

"Miss Asahina has told me many times that she really does enjoy the club, despite all you put her though. Koizumi obviously enjoys it, and Nagato…she's quiet, but I know that she really lo-likes it too. They're your friends, Haruhi. Do you think they'll leave you that easily?

She blinked at me, her large brown eyes wider than usual. You sure look cute like that. Maybe it you tried that look more often, rather than a scowl…

"S-shut up!" said Haruhi, wiping at her eyes furiously. Her mouth looked just like an upside-down 'v'. How familiar was that look to me now? She turned away from me, still wiping at her eyes. "I bet you're enjoying this, me all weak and helpless…your male ego is just bursting with pride!"

Hey, now, that's not very nice. At least I know you're normal again. Well, as normal as Haruhi Suzumiya could get.

She turned and glared at me, cheeks still faintly red, though whether it was from embarrassment or crying I couldn't tell.

"I'm going home," she said, and began to walk away.

…before you read this next part, let me remind you that it was two AM. My mind was hardly functioning correctly. I mean, I'd actually agreed to meet her here at this godforsaken time of the night! I'd never do that under normal circumstances! Really!

But it hardly matters anymore. There's no use denying it. I grabbed her arm, spun her around, and did the most unexpected thing I could possibly do. I kissed her.

Yes, I kissed Haruhi Suzumiya. Not because some blue giants were coming to attack and destroy the world as we know it, but because it seemed like her world was ending. You never know. My…kissing her seemed to save the world last time, so I figured it was worth a shot. My brain wasn't functioning. Did I mention it was two AM?

…and, okay, I enjoyed it.

My immediate reaction upon realizing what I had done was to mentally call myself a complete idiot and try to pull away, but Haruhi had seemingly gotten over her shock and begun to kiss me back. I hoped for a few seconds that I'd wake up in my bed back home, but eventually I decided to accept it.

Another thing about kissing that I had conveniently not had to worry about the last time I had kissed her was that eventually, the need for oxygen won out. I pulled back, and we took the next logical step in the stupid cliché tale we seemed to be trapped in.

We stared at each other.

Her eyes were wide in shock, and I can only imagine that my eyes mirrored hers. I realized after a few seconds that I was tightly gripping her arms, but I didn't let go. For some reason, I wanted to let the moment last.

The silence stretched on. A train passed by, allowing me to think.

"…and I won't either."

"W-what…?" said the girl, the look on her face uncharacteristically confused and surprised. Seems like kissing Haruhi will show you an entirely different set of emotions. I feel almost like I'm talking to a different girl. However, my voice comes out with a slight stutter, so I have to assume that she's not the only one who comes off sounding different.

"I-I won't leave you either. I know, I complain a lot, but…the truth is, I enjoy the club. I really do. And you, I mean…you're insane, but…" Goddammit, Kyon! Speak correctly, you moron! "…you're a great person, at heart. You're egoistical and demanding and altogether insane-" Stop using that word! "Er, crazy, but you're also brilliant and energetic and creative, and even caring, when you want to be. So…" Great. Now you sound like an even bigger idiot. What are you, Taniguchi? "…don't worry about it so much. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could leave anyway. None of us could." I gave her a slight grin, as though I hadn't just told her what I had been trying to hide this whole time. And with that, I patted her head and turned to head home. "See you tomorrow, Chief!"

I guess she was too stunned to respond, so I just kept walking until I got home. There, I locked up my bike, changed back into my pajamas, turned off the lights, and fell into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

When I was woken by my sister a few hours later, I was inclined to believe that it was all just a dream, like it had been before. However, any hopes of that being true were squashed when I walked into the classroom, Taniguchi chattering away happily at my side, and saw Haruhi, who stared at the window with a ponytail in her hair.

Taniguchi noticed that I had stopped suddenly, and he immediately followed my line of vision. "Kyon! Something that you're not telling me? Y'know, I happen to recall that you once mentioned that ponytails…"

I tuned out the idiot. There's no getting around it this time. No false pretenses of dreams, no avoiding the subject under the pretense that it never happened. Much as I may regred this later, I have to face reality. And as I stare at Haruhi, who in turn stares out the window on this beautiful spring day, I realize that it may not be so bad.

Here goes nothing.

I took my usual seat in front of Haruhi and casually turned around to face her. "Hey."

Her bangs covered her expression.

"Hey."

"Say, Haruhi."

"…yeah, what is it?"

"Your hair looks good today."

Slowly, she turned her face up so that her eyes could meet mine. A smile, one that managed to be genuine rather than maniacal, spread across her face. "…thanks."

So that's how it is.


End file.
